I’m not far away from ending my life. I never would have thought I would feel this way, and yet I have for years. It isn’t getting better and I believe I will never be able to stand life. Now I live because you have to, people expect you to live and the alternative is forbidden. So what keeping me alive is the fear of other people judging me, but I really feel like it means less to me now.
Crying and crying. I have never been this confused before. I didnt know what to do with my life for a long time but when everything went so wrong last night, I realize I might knew. Now I ruined it and the confusion is bigger than before. I just hate everything. I hate myself. Yeah, I hate myself. I hate myself.